Pages

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The Story Of A Blond Girl Walk Of Shame (Beware Of Bus Drivers In London)


Yesterday I was accompanying my nephew to school. His school isn’t ridilously far away from us, but we still need to take the bus. Anyone who’s ever taken a bus in London at 8am knows that it’s packed at that hour. You probably also know that bus drivers love to toy with  wannabee passengers. They get near the bus stop, then they open their vehicle's rear door to let people come off and finally, they wait as if they’re about to allow the folk waiting at the stop to come in.

This is the moment, when commuters are holding their breath ready to rush inside. 

However, instead of seating comfortably on a seat (or miserably  holding a bar), a few seconds later an impromptu collective silent swearing circle takes place. You ask why? Well, despite trying his best to keep the hope alive Driver X just left them to stand on the pavement.

Some travellers try to be sly, instead of waiting like the rest of us at the front, they prefer to get in using the back door. These are the most foolish of the fool. It’s like they’re begging to get publicly dragged.


So, back to my journey with my nephew. We were inside a bus whose every inch was crammed full. Obviously, the driver didn’t allow anyone to enter. Women and men outside freezing their butt off in the morning chilly air were pissed off but they opted to patiently wait for the next big red public cab. However, one lone girl chose otherwise.

She crept in using the back entrance. She was spotted by the driver in less time than you need to say “Gotcha!!”

“The blond lady, at the back,” shouted the driver with a Jamaican accent, “get out of the bus immediately!”

To which the blond girl, whom I couldn’t see from where I stood retorted a bit too cocky: “I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes, I’m not coming out!”





The driver shook his head (I was right in front of him, by the way). That’s when a dark haired girl put in her two cents. “Get out!!” she yelled. That blond girl wasn’t having it, she didn’t move. The driver told her to leave once again, but the blond girl didn’t stir even a little.

“Get out!” the dark haired said once again “People have to get to work. I’m already running late. Damn it, get out!”

“Yeah, idiot” shouted some dude I couldn't see who probably wanted to be interesting. The driver yelled again. This time that blond chick gave up. She stormed off of the bus and walked away from the stop as fast as she could (that's when I got a look at her). I’m about sure she walked that swiftly not because she was in hurry but because she wanted to avoid people’s stare.

Bus drivers in London all went to the LHSFBD, the London Hustling School For Bus Drivers. I swear, they all look like they’re ready to jump at you at the first blunder you’ll make. It's like their bus is their territory and they enforce its rules using every and any tools at their disposition. 

Try dodging the fare and you’ll hear someone speak to a mic: “The redhead with the blue jacket, pay or get out!” Yep, yep drivers in London have mic inside their cubicle and they’re always eager to use it. If you don’t leave after their first warning, they’ll close the entrance door and maybe the one at the back as well. They’ll cross their hand over their chest as if to say “That bus ain’t moving if you’re not out.”

That’s actually a pretty good method because within a couple of minute, you’ll hear at least one of those who paid for their journey tell the faredodger to go away. Bottom line is, the bus driver always wins, so don’t bother messing with him. Three years ago, when I came to London for the first time, I was surprised by their attitude.

In Paris, bus drivers are so much more laidback and relaxed. It makes it so much easier to get away with not paying for your ticket. The possibility of a driver spotting you is close to zero. Besides, bus drivers’ main job in France is to get you from place A to place B as quickly and seamlessly as possible and that’s about it. Ticket inspectors are the one with the responsibility of detecting fare evaders.




Are any of living outside London? What are bus drivers like where you live? And for those who live abroad, what is like in your city?




   

2 comments:

  1. JEEBUS that sounds positively freaky. I'm not a bus person (train yay!) so I look completely lost whenever I have to hop on one (about twice a year LOL). But I think in Aus, the attitude is just laid-back in general. Bus drivers can be anal about certain things but they're generally the sweetest people ever. And they also can't be bothered to get into disputes. Or waste time. Once I got on and I was fumbling for some change and the driver just sighed and told me to take a seat. He couldn't care less, to be honest. Which made my day, of course. But damn, London bus drivers sound super strict! We don't have the mice though. Our drivers prefer a good old use of vocal chords haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lool, bus driver are pretty laid in Aus. In London they can be friendly for exemple if you're lost and you're looking for your direction. But when it comes to your ticket, everything friendly and sweet Inside them desert their body, lol. In here, they DON'T mind wasting time, if it means you'll pay for your ticket. "They can't be bothered to get into disputes", lol drivers in here are dispute-ready, haha. Sometimes, I wonder if there isn't a camera inside their cubicle, or if their boss watch the cameras inside the bus. By the way, in London, any situation is a good opportunity to use mics, lol

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...